My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
As shirtless as possible
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize