Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
