Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
