i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
How's work?
Spinning.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
