escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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