So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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