we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
