How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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