Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
