I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
