she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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