i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
