Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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