i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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