fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
