AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
