Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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