She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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