from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
