You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
