he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
