We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
