My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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