I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
