Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
