I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
