She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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