I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
