I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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