Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
