this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
