I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
ttyl tear gas
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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