I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
