i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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