She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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