that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Sober January is a disaster.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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