she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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