i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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