he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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