They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
