Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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