The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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