yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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