This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
