Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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