We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
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