worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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