I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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