are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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