is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
