SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
