Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So squirting runs in the family.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The uberlube is also flammable
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
