i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
