are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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