He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
