So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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