I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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