take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize