hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
