is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
