Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
