This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
