There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
